It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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