Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
