my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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