he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
