id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize