he referred to my room as the tit cave...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
