she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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