dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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