After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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