It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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