i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
