when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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