i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
and she was petting her beer can
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
