Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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