Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
