the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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