Me. At least after what I've been through.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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