just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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