Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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