Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
