So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
