Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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