i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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