Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
