For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
being pregnant is like rehab
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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