is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize