this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
