Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
