This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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