He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
