"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
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