they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
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