My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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