i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
