that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
