And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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