Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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