Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
