Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
birth control should be required to get into college
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
