This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
