My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
