let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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