we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
