He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she smelled like a LAN party
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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