he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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