He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize