It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
