Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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