He is such a slut. More and more my type.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
