I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
