My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize