Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
