We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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