It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
