she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
