this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
