Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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