If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
