i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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