worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
