Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
