It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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