I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
