What a fucking waste of an outfit
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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