They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
