my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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