So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
