I think I am morally bankrupt
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
