if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
