i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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