Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
