Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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