why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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