HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
