I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
