Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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