WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
