We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
