Where is the hickey?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
