She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
